Jacqui Dove - The Blog

  Today would have been Dad's 80th birthday, born this day 19th October 1941 in Chesterfield. Wasn't he a cutie as a boy? Had he lived and been well, the day would have been spent with him opening an amusing Funky Pigeon card which would have contained a £20 note for beer. The beer money would have been saved for another day, as I would have taken him to his local pub, The Carpenter's Arms and bought him a few pints to celebrate this milestone. There would not have been any formal celebrations, no get together or party. Life, as in death, Dad never wanted any ceremony. But I am sure that he would have mentioned his milestone birthday to the regulars in the Carps and he would have accepted their "Happy Birthday" with a secret delight at the fuss, while playing it all down and saying "it's just another bloody birthday"!!! 2020 - in the pub After the pub, he would have skyped with my sister so she could wish him a happy birthday. We did that last ye...

Today was a bit surreal. At 3.35pm a private ambulance pulled up outside. It was all part of the cremation service for Dad, to have his ashes delivered to me. All we needed was a bow and a bit of ribbon and it would have been like a birthday present, the way he was packaged up!!! I must admit it felt a bit weird with the package sitting in the middle of my sitting room floor. Weighs a tonne as well - I didn't expect him to be that heavy. Apart from treasured memories, all that is left of a great man.

I know I didn't, but I feel I let you down. If only I had headed up when I got the call on that Sunday evening. But when I said I would come up the next day and visit on Tuesday the Nurse did not press any urgency. And the Doctor and MacMillan nurse had said nothing was imminent.  If only I had started my drive up to Lincoln later that evening as I had thought about doing, after all, it was a bit unusual for the hospital to call me. If only.... If only I had headed up straight away, I would have been there, by your side when you finally got too tired and slipped away. If only I had headed up straight away, you would not have been alone. That date, 13th September 2021 forever ingrained in my mind, as is 2nd December 2011 when we lost Mum. If only the stupid GP had not refused to see you earlier in the year when you were really having problems swallowing...... "oh, we don't do throat examinations... because of Covid...." 7 weeks in hospital is a long time and as each we...